Eventually, I would love to get to a point where I don't have to set up rules for electronic use. Ideally, it would be one of many equally appealing options for leisure or education. It would not be restricted, in the same way that I wouldn't restrict how long they can read for or how many hours they can play with Legos. I'm not sure that is possible, but for us, it's not about becoming completely free from ALL screens, but just free from the dependency and addiction to screens.
The problem with rules, is that the kids will obsess over it and it just causes more headache. If they have a set time limit, they'll start arguing that they went to the bathroom, so that shouldn't couldn't toward the time limit. If they don't use EVERY minute of the available allotment, they want to carry over the minutes. If there's no carryover, they want to use it all, rather than doing something else. If I say that educational purposes don't count toward the limit, they will argue that some game is really educational. If it I say only after homework and music practice is done, they will rush through it, and not give a good effort. If I declare screen free periods or days, they'll spend a whole lot of time on the non-screen-free time periods.
If they use screens responsibly, there would be no need for rules. And therefore, there would be no annoying negotiation or legalistic adherence to arbitrary rules. I don't know...is this a crazy idea? I think we first have to break the obsession. T is doing pretty well now, E had multiple screaming fits over the weekend about the unfairness of what we are doing. But today, I was so happy to see them playing Battleship together while I cooked dinner, and there was no attempt to convince me that I should just let them use the iPad while I cooked. Progress!
Yay for progress!
ReplyDeleteI think having no rules for screen time sounds like the ultimate goal! You've said already that your goal in this exercise is not to completely eliminate screen time, but just to use it reasonably. I think it makes perfect sense to start out with plenty of rules that will help the kids to see exactly what "reasonable" screen use looks like, and then eventually, ideally, they will use screens "reasonably" without having to have the rules held over them all the time.