Welcome to our new blog, as we attempt to disconnect from our dependency on electronics. After one too many fights over whose turn it is to use the iPad/computer/game console, after one too many "Get off of your game and get your shoes on, we have to leave NOW!", after one too many "Just one more round and I'll get off...", I got fed up and declared we need to change something in our family.
We're an everyday, average-electronics-use family, not over the top (at least, I don't think we are). Our kids are elementary-aged, and they enjoy Minecraft, Minion Rush, Clash of Clans. They've dabbled in Starcraft, and spent hours on Mario games. We do eat dinner together almost every day, we do read, we do go outside to play. We have activities and sports we're involved in, yet it was still TOO MUCH.
We found that when they've been engaged with a screen for a length of time, they lose their ability to engage with others successfully. They become rude, disrespectful, inattentive, and cranky. They lose sight of how to interact with a real human-asking politely, taking turns, talking with each other. They get addicted to leveling up, finishing quests, and gathering daily coins, and they miss out on real life.
Throughout the kids' lives, we've always tried to put some kind of cap on our screen-use, whether it be TV, game consoles, computer use, or tablets. For us, it's not so much the TV viewing, but the games that get them. They've had their runs of addictions to various TV series, but once they've watched them all, the craving is gone, and they move on. But the games keep coming. There's always new ones, free ones! Their friends are playing new games, and they want to join in. The games keep them coming back, with daily challenges, or limited time special features.
We've tried earning screen minutes by reading. We've tried maxing out at 7 hours per week. We've tried daily caps of 1 or 2 hours a day. We've tried no screen-time on schooldays. We've tried 10 minute slots of time (which always ended with, "But I need to get to the next stopping point or it won't save the progress!", which inevitably meant it went longer than 10 minutes). We've tried screen-free time periods (evenings, or after school). We've always had the rule of no screens until homework and music practice is done. We've added additional conditions of 'after cleaning for 10 minutes' or 'after feeding the pets'.
But in the end, it still ended up with bickering over how much time they still have, or who hasn't had a turn yet on the game or who messed up someone else's game or why something is unfair. I think no matter how much time they're given for screens, they just always want more. How much is enough? How much is not enough? We've often used the loss of screen time as a discipline tactic. Bickering, disobedience, disrespectful talk all ended in loss of screen privileges. At one point, they lost it for a whole month, as I challenged them with a '7 days of kindness to each other' criteria in order to earn back their time. For the most part, it was a really peaceful time!
I do know that technology is a blessing. It makes our lives efficient and more convenient. Kids today relate to each other over talking about games and TV shows and movies. I don't want to isolate them from the world of technology. There are great educational resources on the web, great apps for practicing math and language skills, videos that explain scientific concepts, and these are all great, and I want my kids to use them.
So it's about balance. I don't want them to be dependent on electronics for their entertainment. I don't want their first thought in the morning to be, "I want to collect my coins" or "I want to beat my last high score." I don't want them to immediately turn to a screen when homework is done. Yes, they can watch a movie sometimes. Yes, they can play on their games, if there's a bit of down time, or if their friends all want to play a game connected to each other.
This past week, we started by going on a detox from the electronics. I want to get to the point where electronics can be used, but we will not be slaves to our electronics. But first, I felt I needed to cut them off for the majority of this week, just to start the process. This blog will follow our progress as we continue down this new path...hopefully toward freedom from dependency on electronics.
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