10 Reasons

Every couple of hours, we get asked, 'Can I use the iPad now?' It starts out as a simple question, then becomes begging, then becomes complaining, then negotiating ("I JUST want to show my friend this ONE game","I'll ONLY collect my coins"), then attempts at reasoning...T pulled the Give-me-10-good-reasons-why-I-shouldn't-use-the-iPad on me today. I started with 1. You think you'll play just for 10 minutes, but EVERY time, you won't put it down when the time is up. 2. You can do something else right now. 3. I want you to learn patience. He stopped listening at that point, but it gave me a chance to think about what my reasons are (and whether there really are 10 good reasons) for reducing our screen-time usage. So I started compiling, and here's my reasons:

1. I'd like to clear up time for them to do other things besides video games.  When their free time only amounts to about 1-3 hours a day, (not consecutive hours either) with school work, activities, meals, personal hygiene, errands, helping around the house, social events, etc., screen time can fill up a big chunk of that 'free' time. When else would they have time to explore other games, toys, books, and interaction?

2. I would rather they have more than one way to handle boredom/down-time/entertainment.  Electronic devices have become the default answer to 'What are we going to do next?' I'm not saying they never read or play outside, but 80-90% of the time, when there is free time, they'll reach for a video game.

3. It's too addictive.  Games can go on FOREVER. There's always more coins to gather, more levels to reach, higher scores to attain, one more building to build. It's hard to stop, I know.  They get so addicted that they can't put it down, after I repeatedly tell them to stop, until I'm so frustrated, and they're mad at me for making them get off.  Limiting screen use is practicing self-restraint, saying no to something that is tempting and addicting.  Learning how to stop themselves, with something as addictive as games, will hopefully help them practice self-restraint in other areas of their lives in the future.

4. I want them to take a break from quick and easy accomplishments, so that they understand that real progress takes time and effort.  Real vegetables take months to grow, not the 10 hours that they take in a farming game. Real money takes years to earn and save up, it doesn't just appear daily, or hourly, for you to collect without any real work. Real robots take a lot of education, trial-and-error, and experimentation to build, not the 10-20 minutes it takes to drag and drop parts together to make some video robot work. I've noticed that we have a lot of toys or projects that would take some time to put together, or to build the project, but the kids lose interest if it's not done quickly enough, or if we hit setbacks while putting things together. What happened to kids spending hours building Erector sets? Those things are not easy to put together, but are really cool and help build small motor skills, engineering knowledge, and spatial relation skills. They take a lot of time to put together.  I think the instant gratification that comes with games is making the kids more and more impatient, and less likely to work hard toward a long-term goal.

5. When they are on electronic devices, they seem to lose their ability to act civilly and forget how to interact with real people.  I find that the more they are on the screens, they more they are unaware of other people around them. They don't realize they are being rude or insensitive or disrespectful. They don't talk politely or think about what other's are thinking or feeling. They talk back more, and are short-tempered.  My theory is that they have gotten so used to a device which has no emotions, which they can get angry at and groan at and yell at, that they forget that when they do the same thing to others, people's feelings get hurt. When they spend time with real people, they get better at relating to others. There's a few games that kids can play together, but many of the games are single-player games, which means they're not playing with other kids or each other, and they lose that opportunity for social interaction. They may all be playing next to each other, with separate devices, but they're not actually WITH each other.

6. Their thoughts are consumed by their virtual world, and I'd rather they think more about the  real world.  They are so caught up in the drama of someone's clan beating them, or missing out on daily apple they could have collected, or upgrading their troops or tanks, or someone else using up their 'power-ups' on their game. Really? Are these that important in life? There are sad, lonely, poor, sick, hurting people in the world. There are wars going on. Can they really do anything about it? Probably not. Maybe those are too abstract for the kids, but even being concerned about 'everyday' real world things would be nice-an upcoming family birthday, when to practice their instruments, what are we having for dinner, seeing a mess and cleaning it up, etc. They could spend less time thinking about their game worlds, and more time thinking about the real world.

7. It's one less thing for them to bicker and whine about.  They bicker enough as it is, but to add arguments over whose turn it is to play on the iPad, or who messed up someone else's game, or who is better at the game or who is messing up their game statistics by losing too often...well, I just want to minimize the bickering.  There's plenty else they can bicker about. It's also contributes to a lot of whining and begging. There's really not much else they will BEG for, and it's just not fun to deal with on a daily basis.

8. Electronic games often leave little room for creativity.  I'll admit, Minecraft does have a creative element to it, if they take it that direction. But it could also just be fighting zombies and throwing virtual snowballs at each other. Most games that my kids play aren't the type that allows them to create.  It's just playing through someone else's constructs. It's fine for some brain breaks, but when they jump from one mind-numbing game to another, to another...when do they actually USE their brains?

9. We'd like more family time together.  We're limited in the time we have with each other and it's unfortunate that a lot of those hours are spent doing separate things, on separate devices. The kids are growing up so fast, and I don't want these years to pass by and think, "I wish we had done more things together."

10. Electronics seems to contribute to the kids short attention span.  I don't have scientific proof of this, but I think the quick access to lots of different games (like channel surfing) and the bombardment of visual stimulation leads them to expect things to always be quick paced, grabbing their attention in short spurts. They get bored with one game and immediately can start another. I think it makes it hard for them to sit through things that aren't so fast-paced, like a dinner out at a restaurant, or enjoying the scenery on a hike, or sitting through a lesson. It's like they constantly need stimulation, or they get antsy.

So, there's 10 reasons. I guess it's debatable whether they are "good" reasons or not. When things are getting hairy (as in, I'm about to give in to their demands for screen time), I'll have to remind myself of why we are doing this.