Time is precious, wouldn't we all agree? Something I read a long time ago was that we can tell what is important to us, by the number of hours we spend on it. Is God important? Do we spend time with him? Are our children important? How much time do we spend with them? Is work #1? How many hours are spent at the office? Is Facebook important? If we add up all the little blurbs of time we spend 'just checking', how many hours is that? Often we think there are things we'd like to do, but feel like we don't have time. But I said that once to someone, as the reason why I don't change my oil in my car often enough, but she said, "Everyone has time. It's just a matter of how you prioritize it. So if something is truly important do you, you'd make the time for it." I've thought about that a lot as I complain about 'not having time for something.'
Of course, quantity of time isn't everything, but it does say a lot about what our priorities are. In the past, when we had some down time, the kids' first thought was, "Let's use the iPad!" or "Let's play Minecraft!". I agree we all need down time, and sometimes, something mind-numbing is just the thing to relax after a busy day. But when screens became the first and only thing that came to time, that's when things felt out-of-whack. It starts out as "Oh, I just want to check something on my game". Then it becomes, "Let me finish this level." Then it becomes, "Just one more." Before you know it, it was 2 hours! Are the games THAT important in our lives that we need to spend hours on it? How much time was killed in that process? Time that could have been spent outdoors, or reading a book, or conversing, or doing a project together, spending time together as a family or one-on-one, rather than by themselves immersed in an virtual world.
With our break from screens (it's been almost 1.5 months, I think), the kids have re-discovered forts, Legos, stuffed animals, books, board games, hula hooping, and dancing around the house. I do let them play on weekend mornings, while we catch up on some sleep, so they're not 'deprived' (but honestly, I see almost an immediate change in attitude afterwards- they are short-tempered, and oppositional when they get off the screens after we wake up). But during the week, they've had minimal screen time, so they have to fill their time with other things. The begging for screens has stopped. Instead, they'll say, "Mom, read! Read another chapter!" or "Can we go to the park?" I love this!
Of course, this does mean we as parents, are spending more time with the kids, and that's not a bad thing. Given that we are so busy much of the week, it's nice to be able to spend more time with them, building memories. But yes, we do need to get something done once in a while without the kids underfoot, and screens used to be my go-to plan for keeping them busy while I cooked dinner or did some work. But there ARE other options-reading, hands-on toys, listening to music, writing stories, and drawing. The kids have gotten pretty good at going to those now. It does mean a few interruptions when they start fighting about the game their playing, or needing my help in finding supplies, or maybe they're just on each other's nerves that day and bicker about everything, and it's really tempting to just put on a video, or give them separate devices and have them go to their room and play separate games, but I'm really trying to avoid that. So rather than just killing time while I'm busy, I want them to be actively engaged in doing something.
This is still a work in progress, so yes, sometimes, I will let them play a round of Minion Rush mid-week, and yes, sometimes I need to be on a conference call, and I just don't have the time to negotiate a battle so I let them watch an episode of something, but I always set a limit now, whether by time, or by level, or by episode. And we do watch movies together sometimes, and I think it would be fun to play a multi-player game all together too sometimes! So no, we're not anti-technology, just anti-technology-addiction.
With the spring weather coming, I'm looking forward to talking walks outside, drawing with sidewalk chalk, jump roping, and gardening and other ways to fill our down time.
